My Book

I had written earlier on my blog that I was writing a book about my divorce. Originally, I had planned for this to be wrote as a Diary but I'm changing that concept and the style that I'm writing it. It's going to be wrote in chapters and it's gonna be humorous AND serious. I've written quite a bit for it and there's going to be some revamping but I do intend to finish it. I think it will be pretty good. This one particular entry is going to be scrapped but I though you all might enjoy reading it.

Dear Diary,

Well, it's over. Finished, Kaput, done with. I received my court papers today. They were in the mail when I got home from work. Signed by the Judge. Dated November 9th, 2009. Twenty years of dreams, hopes and goals gone, destroyed by the signing of one name on a court document. I suddenly think to myself, is this a date I should remember and observe somehow? My wedding anniversary was September 29th, 1989. Should I also remember my divorce date? If so, how should I observe it? Throw a big party and invite my friends and co-workers? Do I observe it as a day of mourning? Take the day off from work and stay inside the whole day with the curtains drawn and reflect on that twenty year time frame that I was married? Recalling milestones of our time together lest I forget one day? I have to at least write the date down and try to figure it out later. I will never remember that date unless I write it down either. Heck, it took me ten years to memorize my wedding date. I wrote it down and kept it in my wallet until I bought a new wallet and foolishly threw it out as I got rid of all the old papers and business cards in it, thinking I could remember it. Wrong. I used to call my Mother up around the beginning of September to ask her when it was. My Mother! I was embarrassed to do it but I knew that my Mother was what I wasn't. Organized and armed with a address book that listed addresses, birthdays AND wedding anniversaries. That must be a woman thing because the ex was the same way. Big calender hanging up. Almost every box containing some one's birthday or wedding anniversary. She had peoples names on there I had never met and she hadn't seen in years. Relatives scattered all over the country. Deceased peoples birthdays. She calling and telling other family members that if Uncle Lenny was still alive he would be 103 today. Next week would have been granddad Ted's and grandma Ruth's wedding anniversary, 84 years if they were both still with us. I was always amazed at her organization skills. She would mail out a hundred Christmas cards every year, starting to write them in September, moaning and complaining about having to do it, while I sat in the recliner, feeling guilty for not helping but at the same time not really knowing what to say to someone I had never met. She would get her big file out that had every one's personal information in it. Addresses, family members, each one's birthday, their phone numbers, their hobbies, pets names, what kind of car they drove, where the kids went to college, who they married and their kids names if they had any. She also saved all the Christmas cards we had received and made sure she sent them a card back, keeping a ever growing list going and expanding. I would tell her to stop sending them to people we hadn't seen in ten years. People we never ran into or much less talked with but she couldn't do it. Dates were never my thing. Organizational skills even less. I knew my birthday, that was about it. It took me a few years to say the date of hers with confidence, knowing that I had the right date. Was I all that much different then other men? I doubt it. I would bet any amount of money that I could call my dad, brothers, brother-in-laws or any of my male friends that are married and say "Real quickly, whats your wedding anniversary!" and there would be a moment of hesitation. Half of them might even get it wrong. Turn that around and ask the woman and not only can she tell you the date instantly but she can also tell you the exact time the minister pronounced you man and wife, spiel off the guest list, describe the weather that day and what the two of you ate as your first meal as husband and wife. I, as a man, just can't remember dates. So, again, I'm gonna have to get me one of those big calendars and start writing dates and other tidbits of information on it. My old wedding date, my new divorce date, my families birthdays and anniversaries. She's not here to remind me anymore so this is something I have to do on my own. Tomorrow I will try to get one of those big calendars.