My New Timeline for 2014

                                                                    1952

Ren is first mentioned while his father, Lorenzo Byrd Whaley Jr, was courting his mother Joan Ellen Short. One day on top of a building looking out over the city Byrd says "Joan, wouldn't it be pretty far out if we got married some day and had lots of kids. Then we could name our third son Lorenzo the 3rd. Get it?" What Byrd almost got was a sharp slap across the face for his brazen and suggestive talk but Joan just couldn't bring herself to hurt that boyish face.

                                                                                  

                                                                     1966  

Ren is conceived in May of 66 at the Kutztown Festival in Pennsylvania. The state was suffering one of its worst early heat waves in decades and many believe that lead to Ren's immunity to humidity and high temperatures. It would not be known till much later on in Ren's life that the Kozy Kutztown motel where his conception took place was built upon a ancient Amish burial ground.

                                                                   1967

Ren is born in February. Instead of being a Valentines baby he was born one day early and arrived on Friday the 13th. Ren was born at home as the state was suffering it's worse blizzard in centuries and the whole state was pretty much shut down. Outside temperatures hovered around 40 below for days and many think that incredible cold contributed to Ren's non sensitivity to cold. As Ren grew his parents worried about his preoccupation with hockey masks and sharp objects.

                                                                    1971

 Ren and his family head to Florida to visit newly opened Walt Disney World in Orlando Florida . Carried away with all the sights and sounds Ren makes a secret vow to himself to return one day and work at this magical place.

                                                                               

                                                                       1981                                                                                                         

After refusing haircuts since third grade Ren is ready to step out and be the new cool kid of Laurel High School.

                                                                     2000

Ren realizes his dream when he packs up the family and heads to Florida for that dream job. Is glad that his genetically tuned body is immune to the effects of heat and high humidity.

                                                                      2009  

   Joined Facebook.

                                                                      2011

Visits family up north and they all venture out to visit Lancaster, Pa to visit the Amish community and dine at one of their restaurants. Wonders what's in store for them as they pass through the towns on Intercourse, Blue Ball and Bird in Hand. After arriving Ren feels a special bond with the townspeople and feels something stirring inside of him. He feels home almost. The feeling nagged at him but it was soon forgotten as they all feasted at the all you can eat place they had chosen for dinner.

Two months later Ren is shocked to read online that the Kozy Kutztown motel had been bulldozed because it was discovered that it had been built on a Amish burial plot.  Suddenly Ren knew the special bond he had been feeling towards the Amish. He didn't get hot, he couldn't get cold and why not believe he had a little bit of Amish in him? Thus, his alter ego Sheb Duffusstolz was born.