Everything looked just like Paul remembered it looking like. To his left was the Bernsteins house. As was his custom every Saturday afternoon, Rick was in the driveway washing his beloved beemer. But could it be? Paul remembered someone saying that Rick and Diane had split up and eventually divorced not long after the fire and the home was sold for a fraction of what they paid for it. They had both moved out and moved on. He didn't really know what had become of either one of them. And yet, here he was. As he watched him Rick turned and saw him. "Hey Paul! See you tonight at the party! Diane's excited and is taking something special over for Sarah! Diane is sure she will love it! It's going to be a good time!" Paul forced a half smile and slowly raised his hand to acknowledge his old neighbor. "See ya then" he answered back in a as near normal voice as he could muster. "And hey! Whats with the jacket? It's 85 degrees out here! You feeling okay?" Paul stared at his old neighbor, clueless as to what to say. "He's right" he thought to himself. It had been cold when Paul left whatever was where he had been before this moment he was in now. Was that what is real or is this place real? His brain was just to overwhelmed to process it all. Everything around him LOOKED real enough. Here was his old friend and neighbor whom he hadn't seen in years talking to him just like he had seen him only yesterday. "Uhhh, I was walking past Davids place and he was trashing a lot of his old clothes and he asked me if I wanted this jacket. Said it was practically brand new but he didn't wear it cause Judith hated it on him. I tried it on and it fit so I took it off his hands to help him keep the peace in the family" he half heartily said while trying to look believable. "Oh okay. Good deal, I think its a nice looking coat. You did okay my friend." "Thanks, he mustered back, thankful that his old friend had bought the lie. "Get rid of the coat asap" he told himself. After all Rick was right. He hadn't given any thought to the fact that yes it was cold and late when he got on that bus or whatever it was and the date he returned to (for lack of a better description) was in the middle of summer. As soon as he was out of sight of Ricks place he quickly pulled the coat off and rolled it up as tightly as he could. Four more steps forward and he was lifting the lid to Carl and Ellen's trashcan at the end of their driveway and jamming the coat down inside between the bags of yard waste. Carl and Ellen, always working in their yard. The grass always perfectly cut. The shrubs trimmed neat and evenly across the tops. Their yard was the envy of the neighborhood, the one everyone else strives to have. They would be at the party tonight. Sarah and Ellen were friends but he never cared for Carl. Always loud, always mouthing off about this and that, always right and everyone else always wrong. The typical jackass of the neighborhood, just like every neighborhood had. Paul quickly and quietly replaced the lid on the can and quickened his pace towards his house. On his right he saw Karen Chambers out pulling weeds in the flower bed in front of her house. Her son Ben was mowing the lawn, another weekly event on Darington Avenue. Soon Karen's husband Tom would be arriving, home from his once a month Saturday shift at the office. Paul knew it was his Saturday to work or else he would be out there helping Karen with the flowers or Ben with the grass. Seeing them gave him even more hope and he walked even a little faster. His place was up here on the the left, right next to the Thompson's place. He could see the top of his house, soon he would have the full view as soon as he got by the Thompson's white picket fence that divided their property. The fence that had caused hard feelings at first because he knew it was just a little to far over the line towards his property. But Sarah had calmed him down. Just like she had always been able to do. "Why lose two good friends over something so trivial" she had said at the time and Paul knew she was right. That's why he loved her so much. She had that gift and he so missed that as much as he missed her. He was directly in front of the Thompson's place now. Ten more quick steps and he was to the fence. One more and he was past it. And he stopped, frozen solid in his tracks. Everything actually stopped. His steps, his heartbeat, his breathing, even his thoughts. There was a little boy, playing in the driveway, toys from the garage scattered all over the place, forbidden to go down any further towards the street. And it was HIS little boy, Timmy, here as sure as he had ever been. "Daddy, Daddy" the boy yelled as he spotted his father and ran to meet him. Paul dropped to a knee, partly out of weakness and partly out of shock. If he didn't take a knee then he surely was going to pass out. And then he reached out, out for his son who he had wept and cried for for so many days and nights. The boy who he was forced to have to bury and the anguish and pain from that that had almost killed him. He took him in his arms and embraced him tight. And he could breath again. His heart was now racing. Here was his boy and he was holding him again. "Son, I love you, I love you, I love you." He couldn't stop saying it to the boy. Tears ran down his face as he tried to keep from sobbing. "Daddy, whats wrong," the boy asked. "Nothing now son, nothing now." "I've missed you so much Timmy. I'm so sorry son. I'm sorry for not getting there in time." "Sorry for not getting where Daddy? You didn't do anything bad." "Your being Mr. Sillyman aren't you." "Yes son, I'm being Mr. Sillyman," and that brought a smile to Paul's face. He had forgotten about when he would tease and tickle his son and then blame it on "Mr. Sillyman". He wiped the tears away with the back of his hand. "Where's you mom?" "She's in the kitchen getting ready for tonight. She said you were supposed to be back a hour ago." "Well let me go tell her I'm here then. I'll see you in a little while. Okay?" Paul said as he stood and rubbed his hand through the boys hair. "Okay Daddy" and suddenly the toys had Timmy's interest again as Paul turned and headed to the back entrance of his home. "If Timmy's here then Sarah must be here as well" he thought to himself. It was time to find out.
Paul stood on the steps with his hand ready to wrap around the doorknob but yet not able to. He was mentality trying to prepare himself. He had not given any thought that for his son and wife he had only been gone for a few hours. Rick had picked up on the fact that he was wearing a coat in the middle of summer, how much more would his wife notice? He had given his self a quick look over after he slipped in the garage, out of the sight of his son. Everything he had on would be new to Sarah and he was sure it looked nothing like what he was wearing when he had left her earlier. And that brought up another question. Where had he gone? To run a errand? Pickup something at the store? Late home from work? He just didn't know (or remember, if this was truly his past). So he must be prepared for anything she might ask. And hadn't Timmy said something about her expecting him back a hour ago? Where ever he had gone, he was late returning. "Yeah, like four years late" he thought to himself. He quickly ruled out work. He would never forget the fire occurred on a Saturday night. Plus all his neighbors were out doing their Saturday rituals. Paul looked around and confirmed what he had noticed when he came in. His side of the garage where he parked his Lexus (gosh he loved that car) was bare. But yet it was totally destroyed in the fire. So that means that he had drove to where ever. Now Paul started wondering if maybe the old him was still here in this dimension. Why, what if he pulled up in the driveway while he was inside the house? He didn't know the rules of this place! "Stop it, just stop it!" he told himself. The one thing he DID know was that he was here. He would just have to make out the best he could. He would drive himself insane if he continued to try to make sense of all this. And then a small, thin smile appeared on his face. "How ironic," he thought. Here he was, about to more then likely see his dead wife once again and he's standing outside trying to get his story straight. Preparing a story to cover any question his wife might throw at him. Where have you been? Why are you late? What are you wearing? Why, it was just like the early days of their marriage when he still hadn't been able to completely drown out that youth driven desire to go hang out with the old college buddies every now and then. Always coming home late from those adventures and standing on these very steps doing just like he was doing now. Preparing his story. It was a feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. It was just like being married once again. "And here, now, I guess I am" he chuckled to himself. Well, he was about as prepared as he was going to get. He quickly slipped off his leather loafers and kicked them to the side. He pulled his sweater up and over his head and dropped it to the ground beside the steps. His white T shirt that he was wearing wouldn't arouse as much suspicion as a cardigan sweater would. And this time he let his hand wrap around the doorknob of his old house. He gave it a twist and with a click it was open. He gave the door a slight push and it slowly turned inward, revealing the laundry room with the coat rack and the dirty shoes and sneakers on the rug to the left. On the opposite wall was another doorway. That's the one that led into the kitchen and the rest of the house. And somewhere inside there was the love of his life whom he had cried for almost everyday since he had lost her that fateful night four years ago.
Paul quietly made his way into the room and just as quiet shut the door behind him. He didn't know why he was trying so hard to be quiet but he was felt that he should, he must. Why? He didn't know but inside he felt like he was sneaking. Sneaking into this house, sneaking into the past, afraid he might get caught or someone would see him and know somehow that he didn't belong here. That he was a stranger, or even a invader of some sort. And really after all, wasn't he? Now he was starting to feel panic build up inside of him. Sarah could always take one look at him and know when he was up to something. Or hiding something. Or even if something was wrong. He had never been able to lie to her about anything. As soon as he did she would give him that smirking smile of hers and start off by calling him by his full name, Paul Steven Jenkins. "You better tell me the truth!" she would tell him and he would. After awhile he knew better then to even try to fool her. "Relax man," he told himself. After a few more half steps he was across the utility room and standing in the doorway to the kitchen. And they she was. Tall, thin and beautiful, just like always. He could only stand there and gawk. Luckily, she had her head down and was totally focused on the big crystal bowl down on the counter in front of her. She was tossing a salad, most likely for the party tonight. As she did that she also hummed and Paul was completely entranced by the sound coming out of her. It seemed to touch his very being and it was like his whole body was recognizing something that it had once been one with. If there was ever anything like sensory overload then he knew he had to be close to it. Here was the woman that he had loved, had desired, had made love to. The woman that had been his wife and the mother of his child. All the panic and fear was gone. He was at total peace for the moment. A peace he hadn't known in a long, long time. Very softly at last he spoke. "Hello Sarah." Sarah gave a squeal and jumped. "Paul Jenkins! You almost gave me a heart attack! What are you trying to do!" she assailed him. "Babe, I'm sorry I scared you. I came in though the garage door. I'm sorry." Then he quickly closed the gape between them and took her in his arms. He pulled in tight into him and found her lips with his. And it was a taste like none other on the earth. Sweet as honey, pure as the innocence of a small child. Sarah pushed him back and gave him a half hearted slap on his chest. "What has gotten into you? He still had his hands locked around her waist and he refused to let her go. "I've missed you so much darling. You can't even imagine. Come on, kiss me babe." "Paul, in case you have forgotten, your son is outside playing and I have a ton of work to do before the get together tonight. And wait a minute, what are you wearing and where are the groceries you went to get. You had the list I had made for you. You should have been back a hour ago!" So that's it. It had been a run to the grocery store. Quickly his brain kicked in, just as he had rehearsed. "Sarah, you will never believe this but after I left the store and got out on 232 the car just died on me. I got it off to the side of the road and tried to get it to start but it just wouldn't. And of all things I didn't have my phone with me and I had no choice but to just lock it up and walk back. I knew I'd be hot and sweaty so I changed into these old clothes I had in the trunk so I wouldn't ruin my good clothes and left them their with the car. Unfortunately, I left the groceries on the back seat. Totally forgot them babe. Again, I'm sorry." "Not bad for a quick cover up," he thought. Now to see if she buys it. Paul stared at her with all the determination that he could that she must believe him. Sarah stared at him, looking deep into his eyes. She could always tell if he was being less then truthful with her but this time she saw something else in his eyes. It was something she had never seen before and it puzzled her. It was unlike anything she had ever seen but if she had to try to describe it then she would say it looked like his eyes were scarred. Still clean and honest and she could still see his love for her in them but there was something underneath the other stuff that was new to her. And out of the blue a chill came up from below her and traveled up her spine, causing her to shiver and pop out a few goose bumps along her arms. "Well, okay then. Do you want to call someone to go and tow your car to a mechanic?" she asked him. "She's buying it" he thought. "Good, I did better then I thought I would." "I'll call someone in a little while. But I feel bad about the groceries. I'm sure their no good by now. Do you want me to see if Rick or somebody will give me a ride back in town and get you some more?" asked Paul. "No, I'll call Linda and she can stop and pick them up on her way home from the office. She had to go in for a few hours this afternoon and she had to stop to the store anyway. That's okay hon. We women are always able to improvise" said Sarah as she returned her husbands grasp and this time it was her that was seeking out her husbands lips and he was eager to assist and they stood there and kissed oh so passionately and loving until Sarah had to push him back again and this time she was flustered and disheveled. A stirring had starting from those kisses and there was no reason not to believe her husband. Yes, he looked a little different and he looked tired but the poor guy had just walked five, maybe even six miles, to get back home. "Darling, save that energy for after the party tonight. In the meantime why don't you run upstairs and get a cold shower and cool that engine down. Our guests will be arriving soon my dear" Sarah told him, softly and seductively. "Okay baby, I will and you just be ready for later tonight. And Sarah, I love you so much. You don't know how much I've missed you." And then that sixth sense that Sarah seemed to possess kicked in and immediately Paul knew he had misspoke. Sarah gave a slight nod to the side and asked "What do you mean you've missed me?" And Paul suddenly froze, his brain not able to work as fast as before. He had almost made a mistake. He quickly tried to recover. "I mean I was missing you as I walked my tail off for what seemed to be hours to get back here. It made me realize how much I hated being apart from you babe." "Awwww honey, your the best. I love you!" "Sheew" thought Paul. "Dodged a bullet on that one" "Your right Sarah. I'm going to go upstairs and get cleaned up and get ready. Do you need anything before I go up?" "No dear, I'm good" answered Sarah. "Okay, see you shortly." And with that Paul released his wife and turned to head upstairs. He had a party to get ready for and a fire to prevent. Time to get moving.
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